orgasms

this post is safe for work. mostly.

Photo by Scott Sanker on Unsplash

He couldn’t give me an orgasm if someone handed it to him and told him to pass it to me.

It’s like that sometimes. Maybe giving women orgasms just isn’t his ministry.

I don’t wear high heels. They are not my ministry. Even if I managed to get them on and stand up in them, I’d never be able to walk more than a few steps without looking like a clumsy calf.

Give me a good wedge or a platform, though, and I’ll wear your ass out. I know my ministry. High heels are not my ministry. Wedges and platforms — or as my girl Sydnie Mills once called them, “training wheels for heels” — are my ministry, and I stick to them.

If giving women orgasms is not your ministry, it’s not even really a problem as long as you are honest about it, but a lot of y’all can’t even be honest about it.

You talk a lot of shit, and you boast about your prowess when in actuality, the shit doesn’t even get hard anymore and you couldn’t find my clitoris if I fucking vajazzled it, so what is even happening here?

(I Googled vajazzle so I could link to something in case some people didn’t know what I meant, and now that I found a site called Bush Balm that sells products with which to dazzle my vajazzle, I feel like I have to do it at least once now. For the culture.)

Have you ever noticed the men whose ministry isn’t giving women orgasms and who have problems with their wee wee getting hard are always the men who enter the conversation dick first?

What is it about erectile dysfunction that makes a man think jumping into a conversation dick first is the ideal way to get a woman’s attention?

This is not to shame men with erectile dysfunction; this is to shame liars.

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

Anyway, giving orgasms was not this man’s ministry, but he had 8 million stories about all the times he gave a woman multiple orgasms in one session.

One of my girlfriends was sharing an experience with me recently, and she talked about how a man put his face between her legs and licked everything but her clitoris.

At first she thought he was trying to tease her, and then she realized he just didn’t know what the fuck he was doing, so she made him stop.

He asked her if everything was OK.

stares directly into the camera

Fellas, if you are attempting to pleasure a woman in any fashion, and she tells you to stop, no, everything is not OK.

It’s a frustrating thing. I want to say more. I need to think about it a bit more because there are layers to this discussion that go beyond the simple act of giving a woman an orgasm.

It’s about power dynamics in sexual relationships. It’s about the way a man’s ability to please a woman (or not) has his understanding of his own manhood in a chokehold.

It’s about how dick is considered the power tool, but pussy holds all the power.

It’s about the dynamics between men and women.

It’s about experience. It’s about how those experiences align with each other.

It’s about energy.

I’ll say more later.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Parables

I finally finished reading Parable of the Sower.

I say finally not because it was some huge chore; I say finally because moving through it was difficult considering the timeline it takes place in and what is happening in the U.S. as I type this.

Still, the story ends on a hopeful note.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Lauren Olamina and her construct of God.

She built that practice and those beliefs because believing in the “God” the slave masters gave to the enslaved was hard for her. Believing in something as tangible and visible as change made it easier for her to navigate the world. It gave hope in an otherwise hopeless situation.

While that may seem acutely similar to the teachings of hope and faith found in mainstream religion, it’s different. I get that. Lauren Olamina got that. The followers of Earthseed got that.

I’m now reading Parable of the Talents, and while the vision of the United States seven years from is just as bleak as the vision put forth in Sower, there is still a sense of hope that the people will be able to make a way and make peace with their world while loving, uplifting and taking care of each other.

Lauren Olamina built community, and if we need nothing else right now in the United States of America, we need community.

in general

Pen game still strong. Eyes still pretty. Soul still healing. Titties still big. Belly still fat. Pussy still good. Mouth still smart. Heart still big. Patience still thin as fuck.

Saditay, my damies.