Mustard on the beat, ho!

Kendrick has the culture in a chokehold

Previously, on the Monique Judge show, our heroine was spending more time outside the house than in, reading a lot of books. listening to music, and writing.

Let’s get caught up, shall we?

• “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar is on a constant loop in my head right now, and judging by the posts from various people across all my social networks, I am not the only person experiencing this.

  • At any given point during the day, I will randomly blurt out “A minorrrrrrrrrrrrrr” or “WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP,” but usually it’s just “MUSTARD ON THE BEAT, HO.”

• And because I have TikTok perfect attendance, Tommy Richman’s “Million Dollar Baby” is also on a loop in my head.

  • Seriously, it’s like dueling banjos in my head. This is not a complaint; it’s simply an observation.

• I’m probably not helping myself at all with that fact that I have been listening to the same three songs on repeat in the car for the last few days — Kendrick, Tommy and “Underrated” by Zoe Osama.

(Help.)

• Oh, speaking of the Kendrick/Drake beef, Michael Eric Dyson wrote the longest word salad I have ever seen in my life and basically tried to make the point that this rap battle is a “proxy war” that’s really about “race, identity, Black/Jewish relations, and this American moment.”

  • I would like to fight whoever gave Dyson a thesaurus. He went to town in this one.

  • When I linked it on Twitter, a colleague asked me if she was going to need her dictionary to read it because that is how unserious this man is.

  • Another person said they were immediately turned off by all the Malcolm Little reading the dictionary in prison words Dyson used.

  • I don’t doubt or deny that Dyson is highly educated. He just reminds me of someone who feels like they have to prove how educated they are every chance they get. It’s weird.

  • Or maybe we just have two very different styles of writing, and his style of writing doesn’t appeal to me.

  • But he also has a very goofy, old head who might not necessarily get it, take on the beef.

  • Two people in two separate group chats I’m in said it sounds like he taught ChatGP to write like him.

• I have some thoughts on the whole “Black wife effect” trend, the “Black women are for grown ups” quote, and the responses to both on TikTok and elsewhere, but I’m getting paid for them, so you’ll have to hold out until Monday, which is when my editor says she will run it.

• These niggas be acting up, and they homeboys be enabling them. In case you missed it, DJ Akademiks (the Jerry the mouse looking clown who had so much to say about Megan Thee Stallion during the Tory Lanez trial) is being sued for rape and defamation.

  • When that news dropped, someone on Twitter reminded us that a report earlier this year said multiple Jane Does had come forward and accused Akademiks of sexual assault and grooming minors.

  • All these rapey-ass, abuser-ass men stick together and enable each other. It’s disgusting.

• My fellow nerds: You can play Oregon Trail online. I forgot how much fun this simple game can be.

• Y’all know that viral TikTok video with the father who allegedly got together with his brothers to jump the father of the child that was bullying his daughter is fake, right? Like you realize we exist in the age of clout-chasing and doing anything to go viral, and now he’s going viral, but I bet not a word of that is true. (If it is true, I’mma need y’all to stop confessing to your crimes on camera because those videos can be used against you in a court of law)

  

  @selfrighteous__#fyp #fypシ゚viral

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• I’ve read 40 book so far this year, and I’ve already read 8 this month.

• I’m currently rereading Tom Wolfe’s A Man In Full.

  • I originally read this book when it first came out like 25 years ago.

  • I’m rereading now so I can watch the new television show they made based on it.

  • Wolfe was incredibly skilled at showing us who his characters are instead of telling us through the use of dialogue and vivid description. I love that about his writing.

  • This book is almost 800 pages long, so I may be reading it for the rest of the month.

• There’s an Amazon sale going on, and I grabbed a bunch of books for my Kindle.

  • I don’t even need to buy any more books because my TBR is long like an ancient scroll, and still, I buy, OK?

  • I also got new books at Barnes & Noble and some at Target in their most recent book sale.

• I’m happy to be addicted to reading again. I missed it like an old friend.

• Here’s a list of things I’ve written in the last 30 days:

  • Dawn Staley is undefeated in more ways than one

  • Netflix’s ‘Good Times’ is as offensive as the trailer promised it would be

  • The Senate is poised to vote on a bill that could ban TikTok. Here’s what happens next.

  • 10 years later, people in Flint are still suffering the effects of the water crisis

  • The Chicago Sky really fumbled Angel Reese’s introductory press conference

  • Kamala Harris is not here to be the mammy Drew Barrymore wants her to be

  • This is an Angel Reese Stan account, and I just want to see her play basketball

  • In the Kendrick and Drake beef, women and other abuse victims are the repeated punchline

  • Since we’re still talking about rap beef, here are my six favorite rap diss tracks of all time

  • Roger Fortson was unjustly killed by police. You cannot reform this

  • If Gary Owen is the example of white people being too comfortable, Shannon Sharpe is the Black people who let them