Monique's Mailbag #3
When you are a Black woman and you write about issues of race, racism, and racial justice, you get a lot of the same types of emails, comments, etc. all the time.
You can usually tell when they didn’t bother to read what you wrote because they will ask about or reference something you actually addressed directly in the piece.
Either reading comprehension is kicking their ass (and that’s actually not separate from my next point) or they didn’t bother reading and got triggered off of either my blog or social media posts sharing the piece of writing.
This means I end up answering the same question over and over again. People don’t read, and even if they do, a lot of them read only to respond and not to comprehend.
I get it because the American education system made repetition the gold standard in learning, and that’s why instead of being able to think critically, some adults function like sentient tape recorders; you can continue to respond to them with logic and reason, and they will only increase the number of capital letters they use in their response to you, in which they simply repeat the same talking point over and over again as if you didn’t address it at all.
So fine. I’ll repeat myself again, but I want y’all to pay attention to how often I have to address the same things over and over again because it’s indicative of a larger problem we have in this country. With states like Florida and Texas legislating against the teaching of the accurate history of the United States, we can only expect these types of responses to get worse.
These people exist in a vacuum, where the only messages they hear are ones that affirm they already bigoted and ignorant beliefs.
So this is me doing my part. Is it often like talking to a brick wall? Yes. It is. But it’s also entertaining to me in some ways, and I know it’s entertaining to y’all. Hopefully it’s also educational.
Anyway, here we go.
Oh, and I realize this is a day late. We will get back to Mondays for the mailbag next week.
“Wendy Spivey” replied to Eric’s comment from the last mailbag, and honestly I couldn’t be bothered. She wrote:
Amen brother!!
Agreed!!!
Ugly and racist and hypocrites!!
I did notice, however, that in his comment, Eric said:
And while we are on this Racism kick, the term RACISM was not even part of society as a thing, until someone decided to divide people into RACES to begin with.
And you know what? That’s what I said, Eric! White people invented race as a classification system to make themselves superior to everyone else, and now, like y’all, they get mad any time anyone else brings it up. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?
“Koley” didn’t like what I had to say about Barbie. This was their response:
Curious… Sally Jessie Raphael wore red glasses like you are wearing in your profile picture. Would it be fair to say you stole that look from some white lady or borrowed it from the fashion industry trend? Barbie LIVES IN A BLACK COMMUNITY? You said do yourself! So, she takes on the trend of what is said around her- yet she’s a racist? People pick up slang from culture all the time- as educators we call that “Immersion”.
Girl, move on and use your column for good.
Did you even try to arm yourself before stepping into this battle of wits with me?
First of all, my glasses are pink, not red, but even if they were red, surely even someone as slow as you understands the vast difference between wearing the same color glasses as the talkshow host from the 90s that you referenced in your response. Surely you understand that living in the same community as a marginalized group of people does not grant you the right to use a racial slur as slang the same way that group of people may, right?
“Immersion” is not using racial slurs that have been weaponized against Black people for years, and the way you went into this Stretch Armstrong reach to get there, I know your shoulder hurts.
Go take a nap. Clearly your head hurts.
“Damian Havens” replied to my MLK post with a gigantic wall of text completely devoid of paragraph breaks.
Anyone who has a conscience and respects life knows that racism is wrong and evil.. As a white man here in America the narrative you paint of our society being completely controlled by racists white people, all of us white guys boxed in a corner and labeled the same.. we allegedly sitting around focused on keeping black people down denying them same rights and freedoms that we freely enjoy..and frankly I’m sick of it and have been a long time. The classic white guy mistake. when accused falsely of being racists responding with ‘i have black friends too I’m not racist”. Most people know what the response to that is ..almost always.. “that’s what all the racist guys say”. White men can’t even defend themselves verbally against false allegations of racism.. and in this life ive been on the receiving end of racists remarks and comments from blacks..far more racist rhetoric from black men and attacked for being white only. In fact I’ve only heard racists garbage from a few whites in my whole life. But primarily blacks. I’ve lived in many of the states from New York to California..and that has been my experience.. I don’t get the whole “white privilege” phrase..as I’m a dirt poor lumberjack from upstate New York. My family is in poverty and has been for generations.. Ive been locked up in prison many times and I never in the 10 times I’ve been arrested have I ever got off the hook or charges dropped or even bailed out. I don’t get preferential treatment or a “get out of jail free card” as the White man Is source of all evil crowd might suggest I even had officers kneel on my neck while arresting me nearly suffocating me to death for sustained period…..I don’t deny racism exists but I feel these types of articles only fuel more bigotry and hatred.. it’s not so easy being a whitman these days. And I feel the racism in this country is over exaggerated. ..it’s here ..it exists its ugly part of history and our culture, .but it isn’t meshed into our society and system and government like this article suggests.. like white man’s rules are all to keep black men from living equal to white man..it isn’t rampant in moderne society and so engrained into our system or something like this article and many others I’ve read in past that are similar in topic and content suggest..give some of us a break..I shave my head because I have 5 kids and I’m always broke I can’t afford a haircut.. so I shave it..now that makes me a Nazi!! See my predicament and my perspective too.. we aren’t all insecure ignorant bigots and racist. America isn’t rigged by white people for white peoples advantage. We all have the same chance to make it or not here in modern times USA .
I’m going to do my best here. Maybe I should break it up into chunks.
Anyone who has a conscience and respects life knows that racism is wrong and evil.. As a white man here in America the narrative you paint of our society being completely controlled by racists white people, all of us white guys boxed in a corner and labeled the same.. we allegedly sitting around focused on keeping black people down denying them same rights and freedoms that we freely enjoy..and frankly I’m sick of it and have been a long time. The classic white guy mistake. when accused falsely of being racists responding with ‘i have black friends too I’m not racist”. Most people know what the response to that is ..almost always.. “that’s what all the racist guys say”. White men can’t even defend themselves verbally against false allegations of racism..
The other classic response is “Not all white people” and selective offense. You are more upset about how I said what I said than you are about the actual issue I am addressing.
Don’t worry; you aren’t alone. In fact, this has happened so frequently, that I put a disclaimer at the beginning of the last paid article I wrote just so y’all would understand that I know and all other Black people know that when we say “white people,'“ we do not mean all white people.
Here is the disclaimer:
Let’s get this out of the way first: I know “not all white people”; it’s y’all with your selective offense about the phrase “white people” that make these discussions difficult, and it’s ironic because white people made it all about race from the very beginning.
I explained this further in the last mailbag post, but let me give you a practical example. If I were to write “men always piss all over the toilet seat,” and you know that you never do that because you are courteous gentleman who always lifts the seat up before you pee and you always remember to put it down when you are done (cause men fuck that up too), would you be upset? Would you be all up in arms about being lumped in with men who pee all over the toilet seat? Would you leave an angry comment about how unfair it is to get labeled in this way?
I am going to venture a guess that you would not because in that instance, you would understand that what I am saying doesn’t apply to you, and you would find it easy to keep scrolling.
Why do you find yourself unable to do that when it comes to talking about racism? If you know you aren’t a racist and you aren’t doing racist things, why do you think what I said applies to you?
and in this life ive been on the receiving end of racists remarks and comments from blacks..far more racist rhetoric from black men and attacked for being white only. In fact I’ve only heard racists garbage from a few whites in my whole life. But primarily blacks. I’ve lived in many of the states from New York to California..and that has been my experience..
You have never been on the receiving end of racist remarks. Racism is a power structure, and at no point in the history of the United States have Black people had the power to disenfranchise anyone else here. What you claim to have received would be better described as bigoted comments. Furthermore, referring to us as “blacks” tells me everything I need to know about you.
Black what? Black crayons? Black shoes? Black socks? Black what exactly?
You claiming to have not heard as many white people make racist comments as “blacks” is laughable and a lie. I can guarantee it.
I don’t get the whole “white privilege” phrase..as I’m a dirt poor lumberjack from upstate New York. My family is in poverty and has been for generations.. Ive been locked up in prison many times and I never in the 10 times I’ve been arrested have I ever got off the hook or charges dropped or even bailed out. I don’t get preferential treatment or a “get out of jail free card” as the White man Is source of all evil crowd might suggest I even had officers kneel on my neck while arresting me nearly suffocating me to death for sustained period
I wrote about this before, and I’m going to give you a quote from my previous writings. I encourage you to click the link and read the entire column because it may help you gain better understanding.
Before I get started, let me be clear about one thing: All white people have white privilege.
Whenever white privilege comes up as a topic, there are always white people who want to claim they don’t have it because they are poor or uneducated or whatever excuse they come up with to try and distance themselves from the very thing that gives them a leg up no matter their class or circumstance.
White privilege is an inherent gift that all white people benefit from just by virtue of being white. You can put a poor white person in the same space as a poor Black person, and the white person is going to be viewed as somehow better no matter their station.
White privilege is about opportunity.
Being the smartest, most educated and experienced person applying doesn’t guarantee a Black person will get a job, but a mediocre white person can get a job over them because of white privilege.
A Black person with good credit and a large bank account still can’t live anywhere they want, but a white person can.
You can be a Black person with no criminal history, and that still doesn’t guarantee that people won’t view you as a criminal.
It doesn’t work the same way for white people, and that is a direct result of white privilege.
You can try to deny it all you want, but it’s true, and denying it only makes you complicit in the way it negatively affects marginalized people, so go ahead and own up to it if you claim you are not like those other whites.
Moving on to the rest of your post.
I don’t deny racism exists but I feel these types of articles only fuel more bigotry and hatred.. it’s not so easy being a whitman these days. And I feel the racism in this country is over exaggerated. ..it’s here ..it exists its ugly part of history and our culture, .but it isn’t meshed into our society and system and government like this article suggests.. like white man’s rules are all to keep black men from living equal to white man..it isn’t rampant in moderne society and so engrained into our system or something like this article and many others I’ve read in past that are similar in topic and content suggest..give some of us a break..I shave my head because I have 5 kids and I’m always broke I can’t afford a haircut.. so I shave it..now that makes me a Nazi!! See my predicament and my perspective too.. we aren’t all insecure ignorant bigots and racist. America isn’t rigged by white people for white peoples advantage. We all have the same chance to make it or not here in modern times USA .
The power of whiteness and white privilege is being able to type all of that out and believe that it is true because as a white person, you don’t have to consider the reality that it does not have the same impact on your as it does Black people, therefore you are not in a position to state unequivocally that it doesn’t exist because you don’t experience it in the same way we do.
And saying “it’s not easy being a white man” is the goofiest shit ever. Please.
“Mark Stephens” felt strongly enough to leave two comments about my Barbie Bassett article.
The first was in response to “Rose,” who actually left a nice comment.
Thank you for writing this. Awareness is always – always – a good thing. Writers are often criticized for raising it, so it’s important for you to know you’re not alone. The trick is to keep writing about what you know to be the truth. Not perceived truth or invented truth or false flags. The real thing. Just keep writing.
(Thank you, Rose.)
rose you are an idiot virtue signaling square, i am white in amarillo tx and i say nigga all day and get called nigga all day from my blacc friends since kindergarten and we all love it more than you love yourself, so shut up gilligan
this chic is racist as fucc, i am white and i am gonna start sayin blacc people lines just cause i can and nothing anyone will do bout it, sicc of these blacc folks getting passes on whites baccs, my blacc friends are ashamed of this gilligan girl and wish she would stop with all the bs, she just loves to hate on whitey, if she comes to amarillo tx she is gonna get a lesson on being hypocrite and false speakin on it, she is a disgrace to blacc future everything so bump your gums in a orkas reach please it is best entertainment for all us nonwoke folks elopes
I’m honestly not sure if that is ChatGP or whatever that shit is, so I’m just going to leave this here.
I don’t want to make this overly long, so I’m going to end it here.
I hope your week is off to a great start.
Thank you for reading!