Monique's Mailbag #2
Apparently, I am not "black enough" to say the n-word.
I’ve decided that Mondays will be the day we go through my mailbag and see what people have to say to me. Monique’s Mailbag Mondays feels like it should be a thing, so I will make it thus.
I also feel like we should have some sort of white fragility Bingo card for whenever they do something that we know they tend to do when their feelings are hurt because boy are there a lot of them in this week’s mail.
You’ll see what I mean.
Anyway, let’s get to it.
“Dionysus Jones” took issue with my analysis of the “digital blackface” debate.
More hate from you. Just what the world doesn’t need.
Dear Dionysus,
I’m trying to figure out what part of my analysis was hateful. Was it the explanation of what digital blackface is? Was it where I quoted the tweets of other people? Was it where I explained how and why a white person may be considered guilty of using digital blackface?
Or is it just that, as a white person, you vehemently object to being told you can’t or shouldn’t do something when it comes to the culture appropriation of Black people?
I look forward to your response.
I recently wrote about Barbie Bassett, the white woman news anchor in Jackson, Mississippi, who was taken off the air after she said “fo shizzle, my nizzle” on live television. In my opinion, most people know that “nizzle” is a euphemism for “nigga,” and much like “nigga,” white people should not be saying “nizzle” or any other variation of a euphemism for “nigga.”
“Kammalle Summers,” who claims to know Barbie, didn’t like what I had to say about it.
I’ve known Barbie Bassett for 25 years. She most certainly did NOT know that Snoop Dogg’s stupid phrase meant what you black people say it means. She would NEVER have said that ESP on air, IF she thought it was a sub for your N-word.
And your not black enuf to use that word either.
Dear Kammalle,
Sure, Jan.
If we go by what you are saying — that Barbie had absolutely no idea “nizzle” is a euphemism for “nigga” — then that makes her saying it on air especially egregious.
Barbie quite literally makes her leaving speaking words into a camera. She has an obligation to know the meanings of the words she is saying before she says them, much like I, as a writer, have a responsibility to know what the words I use mean. It’s part of the job.
As a person who is very familiar with words, I will tell you that you typed “your” in that last sentence when you really meant “you’re,” as in “You’re not black enough to use that word either.”
See how that works?
And as a Black woman, to quote my good friend Melissa Beck, I own my Blackness; I can say nigga as much as I want, and it’s not up to you white people to decide whether I am Black enough for it or not.
Be blessed.
“Amethyst” pretty much said the same thing as Kammalle.
I think assuming people know the meaning is overstepping as I didn’t. It is a line a popular celebrity used and that’s all I knew until now. Education was needed but this woman should not have lost her job. No matter what race you are it is unfortunate to feel happy about another’s misfortune.
Amethyst, as I said before, Barbie should not be on television reciting words or lyrics she doesn’t know the meaning of.
Let’s put it another way. If Barbie got on television giving the wrong information about the weather every single day, would you excuse that if she told you. she didn’t know what all those words on the teleprompter meant? No, you wouldn’t.
There is an expectation that the people who deliver our news broadcasts should know what they are saying. There is no reasonable or acceptable excuse for not knowing.
“Maisy” also didn’t like me talking about Barbie, and she had a question for me.
Do you hate all white people, or only white women, predominantly?
Dear Maisy,
I don’t hate anyone. Hate takes a lot of energy, and honestly, I stopped thinking about Barbie after I socialized my column and sent in my invoice for writing about her.
“Sam” wrote this in response to Maisy’s comment, and I’m not sure if he was actually responding to her or me.
It’s not racist to quote famous lines from a music artist. But it is to write what you wrote about it. You need to have a chat with yourself.
Dear Sam,
If this response is to me and I am reading it correctly, you are saying it’s not racist to repeat a racial slur if it is in a rap song, but it is racist for me to write about someone doing it.
LOL, bye.
“De'Levontavious” also had some thoughts on the Barbie Bassett column.
I think the funniest part of this nonsensical article is the self-described “creator” label after Ms. Judge’s name. “Racist” would be appropriate. However, I always get lots ofchuckles when reading Ms. Judge’s tears, so “humorist” would slso apply. Keep it real, sis.
Dear De’Levontavious,
Ah, yes. Discussing someone doing something racist makes me the real racist. Got it.
Hey, listen. I’m pretty sure you are an older white man living somewhere down south who is performing digital blackface in my comment section as a means of “owning” me.
How racist does that make you?
You can add “paid” after my name too, because I get paid daily for my opinions.
You are an old white man sitting in your house with nothing better to do with your time than come on my website to harass me.
Who is the real loser here?
“Gina” also weighed in.
Hmmm…I love it when racist blacks call white people racist. Can you just imagine the uproar if a white person wrote that there are certain words/phrases that a black person shouldn’t say because they should only be said by whites?? Or if we said a black person shouldn’t get too comfortable around whites?? The hypocrisy is astounding. Like black people constantly calling white people whitey and not acknowledging that is a racism term.
Hey Gina,
After reading your comment, I know I, as a Black woman, would not feel too comfortable around you because it appears you are upset about being told you can’t say “nigga” or “nizzle.”
Also, “whataboutism” is such a white people default. Do better.
“Steve” thinks I need to check dictionary.com for the definition of the phrase.
I think you should check google.com and dictionary.com to see what the meaning of “fo shizzle my nozzle” is. To be honest, I had never considered it could be negative. Just thought it meant “for sure” with a slang term of endearment added to it. Those website definitions say I was correct in my assumption. Which means you are the one reading it as a negative statement yourself. I say you owe Barbie an apology!
Hey Steve,
I think it’s funny that you would suggest I, a Black woman who uses this slang on a daily basis with a full understanding of what it means, should double-check with the dictionary. The inference here is that you and by extension Barbie know more than me about Black slang, but to humor you, I will do just that.
Well, would you look at that? Dictionary.com says the same thing I do.
I know you only read the first part of the definition — which is the same thing you people always do when it comes to the definition of “racism” as well. You skipped over the second part where it explains that the “slang term of endearment” that you so conveniently left out of your lecture is the word “nigga.”
In this case, Steve, I believe it is you who owes me an apology.
Thank you.
“Eric J. Phillips” had something to say about the Barbie situation as well.
I agree with you ! If all of these sayings are “SOOO WRONG ” THEN IT’S NOT RIGHT FOR ANYONE TO SAY! INCLUDING BLACK PEOPLE! STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE AND SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS! CRY ABOUT RACISM AND THEN PERPETUATE IT AT THE SAME TIME! I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH MORGAN FREEMAN! WHOM I ADMIRE AND RESPECT WITH REVERENCE! OH YEAH, and the beloved Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. Would be turning over In his grave at the injustices of the very things that he DIED FOR!!!!!!!! NOT ONLY ARE “YOU” TARNISHING HIS CAUSE, FIGHT, STRUGGLE AND LEGACY, YOU ARE JUST FUELING AND FANNING THE FLAMES OF INJUSTICES AND PLAYING RIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO PERPETUATE THIS RACISM BULLSHIT! And yeah, the Elitests want exactly that! And it’s unfortunately not just rich white people! In fact I personally admire and respect 100’s of people of all colors and geographic locations! And while we are on this Racism kick, the term RACISM was not even part of society as a thing, until someone decided to divide people into RACES to begin with. There is only ONE RACE ! AND THAT IS THE HUMAN RACE! everyone is different from another in one way, shape form or COLOR! MAYBE PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON ALL OF OUR SIMILARITIES RATHER THAN OUR DIFFERENCES! Two wrongs don’t make a right! Discrimination against ANYONE is wrong period!!!!!!! HATE against ANYONE is wrong period!!!!
Dear Eric,
LOL. I ain’t reading all of that, but I did notice you invoked Dr. King, which is something you people tend to do. Specifically, you said something about what “he died for,” as if he is some kind of Black Jesus that died for the sins of Black people.
Martin Luther King Jr. is dead because white people didn’t like the things he was saying back then, and I think it’s hilarious because those same kinds of white people tend to weaponize his words against Black people now.
Y’all are ridiculous.
“Carson Evans” took issue with the fact that I wrote a post on my personal website in which I said, “White people really don’t like it when you call out blatant racism and racist acts,” and he decided to educate me a little bit on MLK and his dream.
It’s sad that Dr. Kings vision of judging people for their character rather than the color of their skin is something that every race seems to struggle with and not just my own. This article is exactly what he hoped we as a people could overcome. Making blanket statements about an entire race is wrong when white people do it, and it’s wrong when you do it!
Seriously!?! “White people really don’t like it when you call out blatant racism and racist acts.”
Do you not see the hypocrisy?
Perhaps you should go back and spend a little bit of time rereading Dr. Kings works. I suggest “where do we go from here: chaos or community” as a good place to start.
I grew up in Houston Texas, the most diverse city in the south. I remember listening to Dr. King’s speech in the third grade for the first time while sitting next to my best friend, who happen to be black. Both of us looked at each other, completely floored when our teacher explained how segregation took place when she was our age. The lessons of Dr. King’s “dream speech” reached my heart that day and still thrive there today almost 40 years later. And while I certainly do agree that the opportunities that exist for me as a white male in America during these modern times prove undoubtedly that I have privilege others don’t… it still doesn’t mean that I am unable to appreciate Dr. King’s vision or that my character warrants being lumped in with all “white people”, while ignoring the diversity of beliefs and thoughts within that group or any group for that matter.
Dear Carson,
Where do I begin?
You have hit literally every box on the white people with selective offense Bingo card.
Let me take this step by step.
“Not all white people” is defense white people put up that also acts as a way to derail any type of conversation on race, racism, and racial justice. It makes the person speaking (me) have to stop and reassure the white person (you) that you are in fact a good white person who would never do any of the things I’m talking about. Except in this case, Carson, you did, but I’ll explain more in a minute.
I have explained before that when I say “white people,” the “some” is implied in the same way that the “too” is implied when people say “Black Lives Matter.”
As I said in the column “Not all white people: A definitive disclaimer” :
When we write about things that white people do, we use the generic phrase “white people” as a catchall (see also: wypipo). We use it to represent the type of collective whiteness that unites white people even when y’all aren’t all on the same page or following the same agenda or falling into the same category. It’s that “general you” versus “specific you” type of thing.
We know “not all white people.” We know that there are a great many of you who don’t exemplify any of the behaviors that we talk about, and we are proud of you.
OK, we aren’t necessarily proud of you or handing out awards for people being decent human beings, but we shouldn’t have to, much in the same way we shouldn’t have to specifically say “not all white people” every single time we write a story illustrating something ignorant, racist or otherwise damaging that white people have done. It is implied.
I asked this question in that column, and I will ask it again here: Have you ever noticed that no one ever has to say “not all black people”? We don’t have to do that because we know in most cases the “some” is implied.
Let me put it another way.
When you see a tweet or an article that says, “Men do xyz, and it’s so annoying,” and it’s a thing you know that you, Carson, do not do, do you get upset? Do you go comment and sending emails telling the author they shouldn’t generalize men?
I’m sure you don’t because in that instance, you understand that what is being said doesn’t apply to you.
It should work the same way here when I say “white people,” but clearly it doesn’t, so I’m going to say you should probably do some self-analysis to figure out why you feel attacked by the phrase “white people” but not when people are talking about “men” or “wedding djs” or people from Houston. That would probably be a better use of your time instead of projecting your insecurities about your whiteness onto me.
If me saying this bothers, maybe you will understand it better as explained by another white man.
Next, you brought up Dr. King, and I’m glad you did. White people love to weaponize the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. against Black people, and in this instance, “white people” does apply to you, Carson, because you came in my comments and attempted to weaponize Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech against me.
I say attempted because you failed miserably.
MLK’s speech is 17 minutes long and over 1600 words, but whenever white people want to weaponize it against us, the quote the same 40-word passage in which he is speaking directly to white people and try to tell us that message was for all of us.
No, Carson, it was not.
King’s entire speech, which was delivered in 1963 while segregation was still the law of the land, was about the continued subjugation of Black people in America. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 had not yet been enacted.
He was imploring America to live up to its promise, not just for white people, but for everyone.
When he said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” he was speaking about the fact that his young children at that time had to attend separate schools from white children, could not drink out of the same drinking fountains as white people, and were generally looked down upon because of the color of their skin. That’s what that line is about.
But much like (some) Christians who bastardize biblical scriptures when they try to shame someone, white people trot those 40 words out like they are some gigantic GOTCHA! It’s not.
And again, white people includes you, Carson, because you just did this to me.
White people also like to bring up their Black best friend. Would you like to fall into any other tropes?
You suggested I read more of what MLK had to say, and I’m going to give you that same suggestion, because clearly the speech you claim to know so well went right over your white ass head.
That’s it for today’s mailbag, and to be honest, I think it was more than enough.
See y’all next time.
All of these clapbacks? Gold. Pure gold. Keep them coming! I'm here for Monique's Mailbag Mondays.
These clapbacks give me all the life!