in medias res

The year in review so far.

I recently wrote a piece for theGrio about how instead of making resolutions, I make goals every new year. My reasoning is simple: goals are defined and can be broken down into smaller steps that help reach the larger goal. 

I really thought I had that shit figured out, and I was running with that as the new year began. I got out my pens, stickers, and bullet journal, and I diligently planned out my entire week, including all my scheduled appointments, blocks of uninterrupted writing, exercise including daily yoga and walking two (or more) miles a day. 

Of course, after I did all this, things happened to make me have to adjust multiple times, but what is life if not a constant cycle of adapting to an ever-changing landscape?

One of my goals was to read more books this year—at least 52 books to be exact. I started the year off with Atomic Habits by James Clear. I got it on Audible and have been listening to it on my morning walks. The book is under 6 hours on Audible, but because I have been listening to some chapters multiple times (it’s that good!), it’s taking me a lot longer to get through it. I don’t care. 

The first chapter really stuck with me because of something he said about working on building better habits, systems, and processes for getting things done versus setting goals: 

Achieving a goal is only a momentary change

Imagine you have a messy room and you set a goal to clean it. If you summon the energy to tidy up, then you will have a clean room—for now. But if you maintain the same sloppy, pack-rat habits that led to a messy room in the first place, soon you’ll be looking at a new pile of clutter and hoping for another burst of motivation. You’re left chasing the same outcome because you never changed the system behind it. You treated a symptom without addressing the cause. 

Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. That’s the counterintuitive thing about improvement. We think we need to change our results, but the results are not the problem. What we really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When you solve problems at the results end, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves. 

In another section, titled Goals restrict your happiness, he says that when we live with a “goals-first mentality,” we are always putting off happiness until we reach the next milestone. The goals-first mentality also creates a “either-or” conflict in which success or failure is determined by whether or not we achieve said goal. 

“A systems-first mentality is the antidote,” he writes. “When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.”

You want to talk about a game-changer? 

I listened to that first chapter so many times, because it really shifted my paradigm as far as thinking about what success looks like for myself. 

Don’t get me wrong; I still believe goals are helpful, but this really made me take a step back and think about my processes as well. Learning to build success through a well-thought out process is definitely something I can get behind. 

As the author says, “the purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking. It’s not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.”

Respecting the process

One of my writer friends tells me that I get obsessive over things all the time, and it’s true. 

The current list of things I am obsessing over include my eating habits, intermittent fasting, yoga, walking, and my blood sugar.

My frequent trips to Trader Joe’s involve me spending an inordinate amount of time reading food labels. I am hyper-focused on my eating windows and making sure I fast for at least 12 hours each day, and I often exceed that by a number of hours (I’ve been averaging 18 hours of fasting each day). 

All of this pertains to my “goal” of living a healthier lifestyle and having better health overall. 

I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning. I have pretty much cut out bread in my diet. I have been making these delicious bowls that start out with a bagged chopped salad as a base to which I add proteins and sometimes a grain or another bulky vegetable. 

I weigh myself frequently, which I know isn’t a good idea, but because I am keeping a close watch on the numbers, I do it anyway. 

Yeah, I’m obsessed. 

But I am also learning to respect the process. All these small changes I have been making in my lifestyle are creating small victories for me, just like the book said. 

I went to the doctor this week to get an update on my anemia/hemoglobin, and everyone in the office kept commenting on how much weight I’ve lost. 

In my mind, I kept thinking “it’s not enough,” but I realize that even though I am not yet at my goal weight, I am still making considerable progress. I weigh a lot less than I did a year ago this time, and that’s what counts right? 

So I’m focusing on the systems. I’m refining my processes. I’m gaining a lot of new perspectives along the way, and these are the things that are most important to me. 

In summation, we are not quite two weeks into the new year, but I already feel good about what’s to come. 

I’m just going to keep building on that foundation. 

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Miscellaneous notes:

• I have had a few pieces of published writing go live recently:

  • For The Verge, I wrote about why I think we need to bring back personal blogging. This newsletter is sort of a personal blog.

• In addition to the piece I wrote on why I started setting goals for the new year rather than making resolutions, I had a few others go live on theGrio:

  • I wrote about the mistreatment of Megan Thee Stallion before, during, and after the Tory Lanez trial.

  • As a public service, I wrote a list of notable dates Black people (and others) should be mindful of in 2023.

  • Finally, I wrote about Skip Bayless and his bullshit.

• I probably should have done some sort of “Best of 2022 writing,” and maybe I still will.

• Gangsta Boo of Three 6 Mafia was found dead on her porch on January 1st. She was the very definition of Memphis rap, and she came so hard as a woman in that particular subset of hip-hop. “Can I Get Paid” is a favorite.

• In case you missed it and at long last, De La Soul’s entire catalog is going to be released on all streaming services March 3, which coincidentally is the 34th anniversary of the release of 3 Feet High and Rising, and my friend William interviewed them about it!

• Nothing will humble you faster than taking a yoga class and discovering you are not as flexible as you thought you were. I often joke about being able to put my feet behind my ears in bed, but child, let me tell you something! These yoga classes said, “Calm down bitch. You ain’t all that.” Don’t worry; I’mma keep at it.